{"product_id":"absolutely-not-hoodie","title":"Absolutely Not. Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eA soft, midweight hoodie that speaks with quiet sarcasm. The simple “absolutely not.” print sits centered on a clean white canvas—subtle, dry, and instantly readable. It layers easily over a tee for coffee runs, late-night walks, or slow mornings at home. The dropped shoulders and roomy pouch pocket create an effortless, lived-in silhouette that feels like the hoodie you reach for when you want to close the world out for a minute. Built with sustainable and socially conscious production, it’s a thoughtful pick for anyone who appreciates minimal design, dry humor, and comfortable, dependable wear.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 2-piece jersey-lined hood for extra warmth and structure\u003cbr\u003e- Dropped shoulders for a relaxed, oversized fit\u003cbr\u003e- Large pouch pocket for hand warmth and small storage\u003cbr\u003e- Medium-heavy 8.4 oz fabric blend (mostly ring-spun cotton) for soft durability\u003cbr\u003e- OEKO-TEX, FLA and WRAP certified — sustainably and ethically manufactured\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), gentle cycle\u003cbr\u003e- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 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